


Tonight is silent

by itsthebat



Category: Batman (Comics), Robin (Comics), Superboy (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon), Young Justice (Comics)
Genre: M/M, but it has a happy ending, its an AU, its so angsty, there are no superheroes, tim deals with depression, tim is deaf here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 23:48:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14319753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsthebat/pseuds/itsthebat
Summary: Tim is having a hard time dealing with himself, but Kon is there to help.





	Tonight is silent

**Author's Note:**

> This is an au, so there are no superheroes at all. I'm not deaf, so please, please, please if there's something wrong tell me so I can fix it! Also, it's not said specifically, but Tim has depression—I have that myself, so I don't think I wrote that poorly. But again, if you find any mistake, please let me know! :)

Tim is tired.

            He’s tired of his parents always telling him to _speak_ , to not use his hands to talk. He’s tired of people not knowing what to do when they find out he’s deaf, even though they had no problem before they discovered. He’s tired of not fitting in, of students laughing at him when he says a word the wrong way, when teachers treat him like a freak, when people treat him like he’s special—in a bad way.

            Why’s it so difficult to fit in? Tim could, if they only let him. If his teachers stopped announcing he’s deaf whenever he changes school, if his parents stopped telling him to speak instead of using sign language in front of people when he hasn’t even had the opportunity to speak. If the world were a little bit better, maybe then he could fit in. Not even Stephanie or Cass can make him feel better. Not even _Kon_ can.

            Dick told him once that getting on a rooftop and being alone for a while helped, but Tim’s on a rooftop, the highest of Gotham, and his mind can’t stop thinking and thinking and thinking. And remembering—the girl at school that stopped talking to him because her friends told her that if she kept talking to him, they would stop talking to her, and she just preferred them, the boy who threw paper balls at him at mathematics, the boys that were pretending to be Tim behind his back, acting weird and making sudden moves.

            Tim’s deaf. He just can’t hear, why can’t anyone understand that? He can read lips and talk and do everything. He’s not a freak. He’s _normal_.

            His phone buzzes. When Tim looks, it’s a message from Stephanie. _Where r u?_ Tim ignores it, but the phone buzzes again, this time with a message from Kon. _U okay? Wanna sign about it?_

            Tim smiles at that. Ever since he told Kon he was deaf, Kon started using _sign_ instead of _talk_ , because Tim doesn’t like to talk when he can sign. Kon asked Tim to teach him ASL, and he’s been the best friend Tim has ever had. And he hates to admit that maybe he likes him as more than just a friend.

            It kills him, because he knows Kon doesn’t like him that way—Kon’s a cool guy. He hangs around with cool kids and he does whatever he wants whenever he pleases and he even has an _earring_. He always walks as if he owns the place, while Tim likes to be in the shadows. Bart told him that opposites attract, but Tim and Kon, they are too different. Also, Tim is pretty sure Kon has a crush on Cassie.

            Tim sighs. If only he could change things. He wouldn’t change being deaf, because it doesn’t bother him at all, but the way people see deafness? He would change that without blinking. Tim would make everyone deaf, so they could see how things are.

            Another message from Kon: _C’mon, Timbo. I’m worried._ Tim’s heart flutters. _I’m_ worried, not _we’re_ worried. He knows that it probably doesn’t mean anything, but he can only hope.

            A rush of wind shakes his hair, and Tim looks down. Cars are passing by like tiny ants, honking at each other; he can’t see the people from up here, but he can imagine them. Closing his eyes, Tim pictures a mom walking home with her daughter, both chattering happily; a man with a baby in his arms; a woman talking to a phone; a girl with pigtails and green hair chewing gum; a boy just like him, deaf and a little bit sad.

            He opens his eyes when his phone buzzes, and is surprised to find out that this time the message is Bruce’s. _Everyone is looking for you. Are you safe? We’ll stop looking if you are okay, but answer me, please._ Tim writes _yes_ , surprised that even Bruce is looking for him. At the same time he feels tears prickle in his eyes, but he doesn’t know what to make of it.

            Tim hugs his knees. He wants to fit in. He wants to be a part of something, he wants his parents to let him sign instead of speak. He closes his eyes, tries to think of something that makes him happy but can’t come up with anything and goddammit, why is he so sad?

            Someone taps on his shoulder and when he turns around, his heart skips a beat.

            Kon waves a hand at him, smiling softly. _Do you know how many stairs does this building have?_ he signs.

            Tim shrugs. “Four hundred and fifty-seven,” he says. “You could’ve used the elevator.”

            Kon grins. _I did. I just wanted to know if you knew. You are such a_ nerd _._

            Tim is sure he’s blushing when Kon sits beside him, on the edge of the building. Their arms are touching, and Tim can’t even begin to fathom how Kon found him. He doesn’t ask, though, and Kon doesn’t say anything either, so they just sit there. Tim looks at him sometimes, and he wishes he brought a jacket.

            _Are you cold?_ Kon signs suddenly, as if reading his thoughts. Tim shrugs again. _Here, let me._ Then he gets off his jacket and puts it around Tim’s shoulders. It smells like Kon’s cologne; Tim breathes in, and when he looks at Kon, he has this big smile on his face, like he expected Tim to do that.

            _I’m sorry_ , Tim signs, _for scaring you all_.

            _It’s okay. Next time, just give me a call before you disappear so I don’t freak out_.

            Tim wants to laugh, because he can’t believe his best friend, his crush, found him here, gave him his jacket and is now telling him that he freaked out because he disappeared. But at the same time he wants to burst into tears, and he doesn’t know _why_.

            _It’s okay to disappear from time to time_ , Kon signs. His eyes are shining. _As long as you don’t disappear for good_.

            Tim sniffs. _It’s just_ — he starts, but stops. It’s just… what? That he has crappy parents? That he doesn’t have any friends at school? That he hates being deaf but he loves it at the same time? That he doesn’t fit in anywhere? That he has an impossible crush?

            Kon wraps an arm around Tim, and he just—snaps. Tears stream down his cheeks, and he starts hiccupping. He’s thinking how bad he looks, how freaked out Kon must be _now_ , when Kon hugs him. He pats him on the back and Tim feels him whispering something into his ear, though he can’t hear it.

            Tim is not only wearing Kon’s jacket, but also staining his shirt with tears. It’s a disaster. But when they stop hugging and Tim’s not crying anymore, he feels better. He feels much better, and he’s about to say thanks when he signs another thing completely: _Why do I feel like this? It’s like I’m_ drowning _. Down, down, down, and I can’t come up for air_. _I’m so tired all the time_. _I just want to…_ stop.

            Kon bites his lip, as if not sure of what he’s going to say. Tim prepares for the impact, for something he’s not going to like, but he is surprised when Kon simply signs, _Maybe you should see a doctor?_

            It’s not like Tim hasn’t thought about it, because he _has_. He has thought about going to the doctor a thousand times, because he knows that feeling like this all the time isn’t a good thing, that maybe he’s sick. That maybe he needs help. But his parents are always angry at him because he can’t hear, what would they do if Tim was also sick? They barely stand him now.

            _It wouldn’t be a bad thing_ , Kon adds. He catches Tim’s hand, and Tim blushes again.

            He looks at Kon’s eyes, and signs, _I’m scared. I don’t want to be any more different than I already am_.

            Kon snorts. _As if it were a bad thing_.

            Tim looks away, closes his eyes, breathes in. He knows it wouldn’t be bad. He knows having a sickness, physical or mental, _isn’t_ wrong. But he can’t help thinking of what would happen, because if people treat him like a freak now, how are they going to treat him if he’s sick?

            He opens his eyes when Kon presses a hand to his cheek, making Tim look at him again. He’s smiling and his blue eyes are shining and Tim wants to kiss him, a little bit. Kon signs, _Sick or not, deaf or not, you are still_ you _. You don’t change. You’ll be Tim Drake, as_ nerdy _as ever_. He grins. _I—_ he pauses, bites his lips, blushes. _I’m not going to stop liking you—even green and with antennae, I don’t think I could_ stop _liking you_.

            Tim opens his eyes really big, because he doesn’t think he understood correctly. Maybe his brain made him see something. Maybe Kon didn’t mean it, or maybe he meant it differently: I like you— _as a friend_.

            A minute passes—maybe more, maybe less, and Tim thinks Kon is going to jump from the building, so nervous he looks. Even Tim is tempted to jump. But then Kon shakes his head, messes his hair with both hands and says, “Fuck it,” and the next thing Tim knows is that Kon’s lips are against his.

            Tim closes his eyes and feels Kon’s hands as he cups his face. Tim forgets where they are, what they’re doing there—god, he even forgets his name, because Kon is _kissing_ him. With a start, Tim remembers that he’s never kissed anyone, that this is his _first kiss_ , and he freaks out a little because he doesn’t know if he’s doing things the way they are supposed to be done.

            One of Kon’s hands goes to Tim’s hair, the other still cupping his face, and Tim doesn’t know if he should put his hands somewhere, so he leaves them where they are—on his knees. He smiles, and feels Kon smiling as well, and this is… good. _He_ feels good. He feels special—in a good way.

            When they part to get some air to their lungs, Kon presses his forehead against Tim’s, and he can see him saying something but can’t read his lips from here, so he mutters, “I don’t understand,” and Kon sings, _I’ve wanted to do that for a long time_ and Tim says, “Me too.”

            For now, the future looks a little brighter. Maybe _different_ is not so bad, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!!


End file.
